The Adventures of Soda-Man

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Soda Man eats one pound of each, not all in one day:

Fish/fried Angus steak/broiled lump crab/baked chicken

Served with fries and veggies in butter.

He drinks  20 ounces of soft drink that he calls “good stuff.” 

He mistakenly calls “good stuff”  juice.

He screams,”This drink use to contained  5% juice!

Now it’s down to 3! What happen?”

“Who knows,” friend saids, “maybe orange crops froze.”

He eats 1 slice of Oreocream pie/cheese cake/or freezer burnt ice-cream.

Between chews he smiles, “Ahh, one more bite to go.”

For snack he thrives on Dunkin’ Doughnuts before work.

He scans circulars for soft drink and orange juice sales

regardless of his rainy-day stash:

52 liters of “good stuff” and four-three gallon jugs of cooking oil.

He  laments on dashing to market for  .79¢ special while

Devouring 2 English muffins/3 cheese omelet/5 strips of turkey bacon 

And 20 ounces of OJ, real OJ.

He thinks unprocessed food is hype.

He rates his meal A ++ and offers  recipe by phone:

“Fry  turkey bacon in butter, when crisp remove,

Crack and beat 3 eggs in bowl, add lots of salt, pepper,

1/2 cup of shredded cheese (provolone, sharp,Swiss),

Melt two pats of butter in pan, pour eggs in.

As omelette cooks palace buttered English muffins  in toaster,

When brown place muffins in pan with more butter.

Butter needs to reach nooks and crannies.

I don’t use herbs and spices. They were a gift. I use them as decor.”

Through receiver  friend hears Soda-Man patting his six-pack,

Claiming, “Doctor never commented on diet, or 214 cholesterol.”

Friend questioning studies’ claim: higher levels of education means  healthy eating.


2 thoughts on “The Adventures of Soda-Man

  1. Excellent commentary, beautiful displays and
    great menu for humans and ‘Endo.’ Continued
    success in all your endeavors. Pic(s) ‘Precious.
    Peace,love,blessings and much respect

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