Soda Man eats one pound of each, not all in one day:
Served with fries and veggies in butter.
He drinks 20 ounces of soft drink that he calls “good stuff.”
He mistakenly calls “good stuff” juice.
He screams,”This drink use to contained 5% juice!
Now it’s down to 3! What happen?”
“Who knows,” friend saids, “maybe orange crops froze.”
Between chews he smiles, “Ahh, one more bite to go.”
For snack he thrives on Dunkin’ Doughnuts before work.
He scans circulars for soft drink and orange juice sales
regardless of his rainy-day stash:
52 liters of “good stuff” and four-three gallon jugs of cooking oil.
He laments on dashing to market for .79¢ special while
And 20 ounces of OJ, real OJ.
He thinks unprocessed food is hype.
He rates his meal A ++ and offers recipe by phone:
“Fry turkey bacon in butter, when crisp remove,
Crack and beat 3 eggs in bowl, add lots of salt, pepper,
1/2 cup of shredded cheese (provolone, sharp,Swiss),
Melt two pats of butter in pan, pour eggs in.
As omelette cooks palace buttered English muffins in toaster,
When brown place muffins in pan with more butter.
Butter needs to reach nooks and crannies.
I don’t use herbs and spices. They were a gift. I use them as decor.”
Through receiver friend hears Soda-Man patting his six-pack,
Claiming, “Doctor never commented on diet, or 214 cholesterol.”
Friend questioning studies’ claim: higher levels of education means healthy eating.